Writing task 1 General training -The parents of your Australian friend Chris have invited you to surprise birthday party for him/her. Write a letter to Chris parents . In your letter -Say why you think Chris will enjoy the surprise party. -Explain why you won’t be able to attend the party - Give details of plan to see Chris at a different time

#-the #parents #australian #friend #chris #surprise #birthday #party #-say #-explain #won’t #plan #time

Dear Mr and Mrs Mhsawde I hope

this

letter finds you in

Remove the article

apply

show examples

radiant health and

best

Correct article usage

the best

show examples

spirit

Fix the agreement mistake

spirits

show examples

Firstly

, I would like to thank you for sending the invitation

Change preposition

show examples

Chris’s 25th birthday , it feels like yesterday we were playing in the park as a child and today we are all grown up , I must say time just flies so fast . Since we were kids I remember how Chris used to like

surprise

parties and

surprise

gifts , the smile and joy on his face

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

every arrangement

worth

Replace the word

worthwhile

show examples

. I am sure

this

time he will feel

same

Add an article

the same

show examples

joy and will enjoy the

surprise

party.

However

due to

my important business meeting on the same day ,

unfortunately

Add the comma(s)

unfortunately,

show examples

I am unable to attend the party. I cannot express how sad I am feeling , because I won’t be present there

Change preposition

show examples

Chris ’s birthday celebration but I promise I will compensate

Change preposition

apply

show examples

him . For a long

time

Add a comma

time,

show examples

I was actually thinking of visiting Australia to meet Chris and

finally

Add a comma

finally,

show examples

I have booked tickets for next month . I will be arriving on 9th January and on 10th of January I will visit your house to

surprise

him . I would really appreciate

Correct pronoun usage

it if

show examples

you keep

this

plan a secret until I get there. I cannot express

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

in words

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

how excited I am to see him. Hoping to see you soon. Your lovingly, Parthvi

Submitted by mhsawdeparthvi29 on Sat Mar 23 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Greeting and Closing

Your letter successfully delivers the message to Chris's parents, maintaining a polite and caring tone. However, try to improve your greeting and closing remarks. Although 'Dear Mr and Mrs Mhsawde' is a good start, it could be further personalized if you are aware of their first names or titles. In closing, 'Your lovingly' is a nice touch but ensure consistency in your relationship with the person, 'Yours sincerely' might better suit less personal contexts.

Single Idea per Paragraph

Ensure each paragraph deals with a single idea. The first paragraph could focus solely on gratitude for the invitation and your thoughts on how quickly time has passed since childhood. Separating your explanation on why you won’t be able to attend into its own paragraph would enhance clarity. You have done this well, but maintaining this structure consistently will further improve your letter's coherence.

Logical Structure

The logical structure of your letter flows well, starting with the introduction and gratitude, moving to the explanation of your absence, and culminating in your plan to visit. To strengthen logical transitions, you might add a sentence linking your inability to attend the birthday with your plan to visit Australia, making the overall narrative more cohesive.

Complete Response

While your response fits the task requirements, consider expanding on your explanation for not attending. For example, briefly describe the nature of the business meeting and its importance, which will give more depth to your regret for missing the birthday. Additionally, expanding on what you plan to do with Chris during your visit could enrich your letter and further display your enthusiasm and the significance of the visit.

Do you want to check your essays?

Submit an unlimited number of essays. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

240 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

Unlock the Full Potential of Writing9

Unlimited Essay Checks: Practice and perfect your skills.
Detailed Error Analysis: Spot every mistake.
In-Built Grammar Checker: Say no to grammatical errors.
Personalized Suggestions: Know how to boost your score.
Progress Tracking: View your checked essay history.
Still thinking? We have a 14-day money-back guarantee. Take a leap of faith!

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Parents should spend more time with their children helping them with their homework. Do you agree or disagree?
Children spend enough time with their parents, which assists them with their daily tasks. This essay agrees with this statement because kids get more opportunities in their education sector and learn new home activities.
4.5
band
More and more people buy a wide range of household goods like television, microwave oven and rice cooker. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
A wide range of household machines is acquired by an increasing number of clients. While it does harmful to the enviornment to some extent, I believe that its advantages overweight its disadvantage.
7
band
Employers should give their workers at least one month holiday a year as it makes them to do better at their job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, it is argued by some people that employees should be given at minimum a month off from their job in order to achieve efficiency. Vacations surely are paramount, but some negative implications arise from them.
4
band
maaring English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. in your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, " Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Now- a-days courage of learning new things is much in children. So, learning English at school is often seen as more significant than learning Local languages due to which many local languages are at risk of dying out. So, I believe that individuals Should ensure the survival of local languages by taking various steps which will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs. To embark with, learning English at school is important but not more than learning the local language. Moreover , children are losing their interest in their mother tongue.Similarly, learning two languages at a single time may lead to mental stress time pupilsFurther, children would face many difficulties,such as They can not be able to communicate with local people properly. Moreover , they will feel underconfident while facing public . On the flip side , local language should be protected by taking certain steps such as Providing basic knowledge about language at the primary stage. Moreover, parents should involv...
9
band
You and your family are living in rented accommodation in an English-speaking country. You are not satisfied with the condition of some of the furniture. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter introduce yourself explain what is wrong with the furniture say what action you would like the landlord to take
I am one of your tenants currently residing in Building no. 85, Friends Street, Faridkot. I am writing this letter to inform you that some of the furniture in our apartment is not in a condition to be used and have become obsolete with time.

Parents should spend more time with their children helping them with their homework. Do you agree or disagree?

More and more people buy a wide range of household goods like television, microwave oven and rice cooker. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Employers should give their workers at least one month holiday a year as it makes them to do better at their job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?