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It has become easier and more affordable for people to travel to other countries. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #travel #countries #development
In the modern day, more and more
people
 could travel to other nations as the price of it is getting more reasonable. The writer of
this
 essay believes that it is a positive development owing to the variety of cultural
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
 and the expansion of multinational companies. The most convincing rationale for
this
 effect is that
people
 could get exposed more to different cultures.
In other words
, there are hundreds of countries all over the world, which have been going through several ups and downs of history to shape their own cultures.
Consequently
, none of them have similar customs or cuisines, making each
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
 distinctive and unique in many aspects.
Therefore
, when individuals travel to other nations, they would not only have the once-in-life experience but
also
 acquire more knowledge about other cultures.
Furthermore
, the ease of travelling abroad facilitates the rapid growth of international enterprises. Simply put, the core value of a multinational corporation is to promote its products worldwide in order to gain more profits. With that in mind, if they can choose the particular potential markets for trading, they will probably have to transit between those countries multiple times to maintain the stable operation of that transnational corporation.
Thus
, the easier foreign flying is, the more opportunities multinational companies have to increase their size in the economic field. In conclusion,
due to
 the cultural experience and the tensive development of international corporations, it must be a positive trend when
people
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 travel abroad in
such
 an easy way.
Submitted by Community 11E4 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction briefly outlines the reasons you will discuss, making your position clear from the outset.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas further with more detailed examples. Providing specific instances or data can make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of linking words to show the relationship between your ideas, ensuring smooth transitions between paragraphs and sentences.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check that each paragraph has a clear central idea, and use topic sentences effectively to introduce the paragraph’s main point. This helps with overall clarity and coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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