The bar graph below shows the number of overseas students enrolled in a third-year Computer Science course at a Canadian college.

The bar graph below shows the number of overseas students enrolled in a third-year Computer Science course at a Canadian college.
The provided graph illustrates indicators of registered students in the majority
such
as networking
core
option
and
Database
core
option
in countries like Singapore, Malaysia, China, Sri Lanka and
France
. It can be clearly seen that the
database
core
option
was mostly chosen by
males
in four states except for
France
, making up numbers in Singapore 4 from 5, Malaysia 3 from 4, China 7 from 8, Sri Lanka 6 from 8, and other
figures
belonged to the specialization
such
as Networking
core
option
. As it presented, In
France
a volume of accepted male listeners in the
Database
core
option
constituted exactly
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of them,
whereas
whole female training gave preference to it. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
such
as the Networking
core
option
, female students outnumbered
males
, composing
figures
nearly three times as much as in second majority in Singapore (approximately 5 units,
while
in the
Database
core
option
Add a comma
option,
show examples
it composed 2). In the rest nations like Malaysia, China,
Sri
Correct word choice
and Sri
show examples
Lanka it almost levelled out.
To sum up
, in four states
Database
core
option
was popular among
males
,
whereas
females went to the Networking
core
option
. The
figures
were different in
France
, illustrating equal
figures
between
males
,
while
all the females preferred a faculty-like
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Database
core
option
.
Submitted by sayazhorabek9466 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such, whereas, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words core, option, database, france, males, figures with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • overseas students
  • enrollment
  • bar graph
  • third-year
  • Computer Science course
  • Canadian college
  • trends
  • regional comparison
  • scholarships
  • college reputation
  • diversity
  • cultural exchange
  • networking opportunities
  • economic factors
  • immigration policies
  • technological advancements
  • future predictions
  • educational importance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: