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Band 7

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#students #gap #year #university #travel #gain #work
There is a widely spread opinion that young people after graduating from school should recently enrol on university.
However
, plenty of students decide to take a breath and see other countries or gather job skills. I strongly believe that having an academic leave before entering to higher education institute will contribute to making valuable choices which is good for new pupils. In
this
 essay, my opinion will be explained in detail. To my way of thinking, when an interval is token before that to choose the specialization by the young generation it will prevent students’ wrong choices. Owing to the fact that they are not aware of the internal situation.
For instance
, in my childhood, I was craving to become a doctor.
However
 I was not able to enrol on medicine
due to
 the fact that my exam result was not enough for
this
 majority, and I have decided to enter a closer profession
such
 as public health. Even after graduating was thinking of changing my specialty until working in a primary healthcare organization as an epidemiologist. Despite the fact that I was not an attending physician I am acquainted with the responsibilities of medical workers . Only at that
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 the I
recognise
Verb problem
realise
show examples
 that I would not be a doctor, and there were lots of duties which I could not able to fight back.
In addition
, by observing a profession from an outside person can see a whole puzzle. The youth have to gather more information before choosing the profession. It is better If there is an opportunity to experience it.
Besides
 travelling may serve well since when individuals attend other countries they come across humans who have different mindsets and mentalities
as a result
 they can broaden their horizons. Summing up, pupil after graduating from school should take a gap year for travelling or work experience to make appropriate choices about their future specialization.
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Task achievement
Be specific in your examples. While sharing a personal story, it would enhance your essay to detail how exactly your work experience influenced your decision and career perspective, providing a concrete example of learning or realization.
Coherence and cohesion
Ensure variety in your sentence structures and paragraphing. Using a mix of complex and simple sentences can help in better illustrating your points and making your arguments more persuasive.
Coherence and cohesion
Work on developing a clearer introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should more clearly state your opinion and outline the arguments you will make, while your conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points and reiterate your stance.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • immersive experience
  • perspectives
  • empathy
  • societal norms
  • practical understanding
  • motivation
  • networking
  • recharge
  • dedication
  • forge meaningful relationships
  • financial independence
  • emotional well-being
  • self-confidence
  • adaptability
  • open-minded
  • mentorships
  • motivated
  • prepared
  • volunteering
  • internships
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