The bar graph below shows the number of overseas students enrolled in a third-year Computer Science course at a Canadian college.

The bar graph below shows the number of overseas students enrolled in a third-year Computer Science course at a Canadian college.
The bar illustrates gender
dissagregated
Correct your spelling
disaggregated
data of foreign
students
from 5 selected countries enrolled in a
third-year
Correct your spelling
third year
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
course of computer science at a university in Canada. In general,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
large proportion of
students
number come from China,
whereas
the smallest proportion
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
from France. Meanwhile, more
students
enrolled in
Correct article usage
the Databse
show examples
Databse
Correct your spelling
Database
core
option
than in the Networking
core
option
.  Most female
students
choose to enrol in
Networking
Correct article usage
the Networking
show examples
core
,
while
male
students
prefer
Database
Correct article usage
the Database
show examples
core
option
.
However
,
this
does not apply to
students
from China
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
choose the opposite. Another interesting point is
france's
Change the capitalization
France's
show examples
female
students
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
only choose
database
Correct article usage
the database
show examples
option
.
Submitted by NA on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, core, option with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • overseas students
  • enrollment
  • bar graph
  • third-year
  • Computer Science course
  • Canadian college
  • trends
  • regional comparison
  • scholarships
  • college reputation
  • diversity
  • cultural exchange
  • networking opportunities
  • economic factors
  • immigration policies
  • technological advancements
  • future predictions
  • educational importance
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