Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance

Whether success stems from hardship and dedication or from fortune and beauty is a highly controversial discussion point.

This

writer contends that having a sheer will is the key factor to the accomplishment of life

due to

motivation and stability, despite those who think that having an initial budget is crucial. It should be understood that working for desire provides great encouragement.

In other words

, ambition helps people utilize their full potential for various skills and experiences

while

also

increasing their

overall

mentality when encountering setbacks.

Subsequently

, ambitious workers tend to acquire knowledge more efficiently than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

others and failure has less impact on them.

For instance

, in

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

research conducted in Ho Chi Minh City, approximately 40% of employees who perform well are motivated solely by their goals.

However

, there are individuals who believe that wealth plays a superior role in terms of success. They believe that a great fortune is essential in starting any business in today’s world.

While

this

is a credible point, it should be known that beginning without any penny is possible if the person knows how to manage their business. By using knowledge that can be learned around societies,

such

people can achieve greater than those who rely on their wealth and possibly be more successful. The writer advocates the long-lasting effect of doing jobs with dedication. It should be self-evident that having experience in their profession can make their career more stable as they are driven by their own dream and it can even

last

for a lifetime. Take Einstein as a prime example, he dedicated his life to science which made him an icon for his brilliant works and achievements. In conclusion,

this

writer believes hard work and determination are more worthwhile than image and finance.

Hence

this

essay has demonstrated clear points to the aforementioned statement.

Submitted by khoi11nk11e on Mon Mar 25 2024

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task achievement

Enhance your task achievement by expanding on the alternative view more thoroughly, providing a balanced discussion before stating your own position. This ensures a comprehensive analysis of both perspectives.

coherence cohesion

To improve your coherence and cohesion, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Use a wider range of linking sentences and phrases that clearly show the relationship between your points.

task achievement

Incorporate more varied and specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and demonstrate a wider knowledge of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

305 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
discipline
resilience
effort
tenacity
external factors
financial resources
favorable appearance
perceptions
advantages
intrinsic
extrinsic
sustainable
facilitating
undeniable

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Vaccinating children against preventing diseases is not only unnecessary but also dangerous to waht extend do you agree or disagree?

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The use of mobile phone is as anti social as smoking is baned in certain places , and so mobile phones should be banned.Agree or disagree?

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only place available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What it your opinion about this?