Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.
Whether practical success is the result of industriousness and boldness or of wealth and other factors is a debatable discussion. From the writer’s perspective view, to succeed in real life is crucially based on the attempt and time determinately spent , to learn and extend awareness,
as well as
to lead to a better lifestyle and adapt easily in this
harsh environment.
It is undeniable that knowledge is formed by studying unstoppably, keeping on track by reading more books, taking notes for the lessons and deeply understanding their meanings. These activities do not take only one or two days, but many years to accomplish and be mastered, building up a stable range of knowledge. Without hard work, there is likely no motivation to do this
. Hence
, hard work has played a vital role in obtaining achievement.
Another point worth mentioning is that determination and hard work also
help people to learn good points from others and have a healthy life. Thanks to determination, starting a new hobby can waste a significant amount of effort and time, but not with their passion. For instance
, having determination leads to the attempt to try to go to the gym every day or try getting new skill courses. It may be the reason for the importance of dedication.
However
, a part of the community contends that there are plenty of other crucial factors which have profound effects on success. The prime examples are money, which pays for a step to reach achievement quickly, or how individuals look at themselves, to make an impression and attract more opportunities. This
point is somewhat true, but It has to be said that working hard also
gives these results, without it, nothing will then
happen.
To conclude
, industriousness and determined character are the most important keys to span the own knowledge and put a big fundamental step to success. This
therefore
leads to other achievements that support and boost their attempt at careers.Submitted by khoi11nk11e on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Make sure to address both views clearly before providing your own opinion. In some instances, the discussion of the opposing view felt briefly touched upon rather than fully explored.
coherence & cohesion
Improve logical structure by enhancing the flow of ideas. Prioritize the progression from one idea to the next, ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea followed by supporting details.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. Expanding on your examples with detailed information can help illustrate your points more effectively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?