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Band 6.5

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others thank that there more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance
More communities believe that achievement in the soul comes from hard job and conviction but others think differently, they think that there are more important factors like bill and presentation or others. In writer will show both views and give my opinion.
Firstly
, talk about hard tasks and energy which are the most necessary in all struggle, it will help the crowd succeed but in society do not have benefit for who because in growth will have a lot of difficult things.
For example
, in Vietnam country, in his life, he has a lot of difficulty in his efforts, but he has boldness and hard job, and he uses advance in his activity.
Secondly
, talk about other important factors like cash or display, in the world, some situations succeed by check but must have the knowledge and use payment or spend it for the true things. If do not have the knowledge, the property will be the same trash, with an appearance which will help the population succeed when the public chooses model production
that is
 suitable for them.
For example
, in America, a model is the most popular advertisement factory. In my opinion, I think hard work and decision are still the best things for a successful and strong career. Because humans with diligence can have easy permanent jobs and trial a variety of worth. It is easy to get a healthy job. In conclusion, hard task, grit, wage and presentation are the important factors for a successful career.
However
 hard work is the best way to get profit.
Submitted by khoi11nk11e on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Focus on organizing your essay into clear paragraphs with a distinctive introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Introduce each paragraph with a topic sentence.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure your main ideas are clearly presented and directly respond to the essay question. Each body paragraph should introduce a single idea, supported by examples or explanations.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs by using cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases (e.g., however, for example, therefore).
Task Response
Fully address all parts of the task. Present a balanced discussion of both views before giving your own opinion. Make sure your opinion is consistent throughout the essay and clearly stated in the conclusion.
Task Response
Support your main ideas with relevant and specific examples. Avoid generic or vague statements by providing clear and detailed examples that directly relate to your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • perseverance
  • discipline
  • resilience
  • effort
  • tenacity
  • external factors
  • financial resources
  • favorable appearance
  • perceptions
  • advantages
  • intrinsic
  • extrinsic
  • sustainable
  • facilitating
  • undeniable
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