some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance

It is believed that the keys to success are

determination

and hard work,

while

others argue that appearance and

money

are more essential. The author of

this

essay believes that not giving up and being hard-working is vital It is acknowledged that

money

and appearance play crucial roles in some specific fields. In the movie industry,

for instance

, being gorgeous or handsome is a huge benefit as audiences tend to be captivated by good-looking actors/actresses.

As a result

, actors or actresses may leave a good impression and may be advocated by more and more individuals.

Money

also

important in starting up a business

This

is because people need a fortune to hire staff, purchase machines, or even rent an office

As a result

, a business can be developed thanks to monetary contribution. It is vital to understand

determination

and hard work play essential roles in every field By working hard, folks can gain different skills

as well as

knowledge, and

determination

helps people to move forward no matter how many times they have failed.

Consequently

, people can move closer to success day by day.

This

author claims that not giving up and being hard-working are the key factors to being successful.

This

is because efforts and being determined are needed not only in the movie industry or sports

in particular

but

also

in other careers generally. In a nutshell, many factors are claimed to be vital to reach success

such

money

and appearance or

determination

and hard work. The author thinks that the latter one is more crucial as it is needed in all careers.

Mon Mar 25 2024

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logical structure

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introduction conclusion present

Make sure your essay includes a distinct introduction and conclusion. The introduction should clearly present the essay topic and your stance, while the conclusion should summarize the main points discussed and firmly restate your view.

supported main points

Support your main points with specific examples and explanations. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing. Avoid vague statements by providing clear and relevant examples that directly support your argument.

complete response

Fully address all parts of the task. Make sure you discuss both views and clearly state your own opinion. Provide a balanced discussion before presenting your standpoint.

clear comprehensive ideas

Ensure your ideas are clearly presented and easy to understand. Organize your essay in a way that each paragraph focuses on a single idea, supported by examples or explanations. Use connective words to improve the flow of information.

relevant specific examples

Incorporate relevant examples that directly support your arguments. Using specific and relevant examples will make your essay more convincing and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
discipline
resilience
effort
tenacity
external factors
financial resources
favorable appearance
perceptions
advantages
intrinsic
extrinsic
sustainable
facilitating
undeniable

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some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views give your opinion.

Your opinion

Pollution and other environmental problems are resulting from a country's developing and becoming richer. Some think this can not be avoided. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Nowdays, many people complain that they have deficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

The scientist believes that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it is a positive while others think it is a negative development. Discuss both points and give your own opinion

As global trade increases, many goods, including those we use on a daily basis, are produced in other countries and have to be transported long distances. Do the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

Some government spend a lot of public fund on training people to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public. To what extent do you agree?