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Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face-to-face. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #development
In
this
 day and age, an increasing number of individuals meet and talk to their relatives or friends online
instead
 of in person. In my point of view,
this
 is a negative development that can lead to isolation, potentially harmful situations and
also
 issues later in life.
To begin
 with, the most eminent factor is waste of time
due to
 hectic professional life, a plethora of people do not have enough time though, they can not converge physically. Apart from that, many professional jobs nature mostly depend on travel.
Consequently
, social media is the only way to connect with familiar ones.
For instance
, humans who are in the pilot profession frequently travel out of the country as part of their job. So they do not have any other choices, other than digital media.
That is
 to say, the utilization of the internet does not only keep in touch with friends but
also
 we can call them regardless of their location.
Therefore
, it is a contemporary approach to be in touch with mates.
On the other hand
, I have a few more points to prove the arguments. First and foremost, plenty of humans work abroad for a good salary or job.
Thus
, it is not possible for them to meet with familiar ones in the traditional way. In fact, there is no choice except the use of the net.
For example
, many students go to foreign countries to study.
Subsequently
, they opt to network for
further
 conversation. Even though, several people choose social media for chatting with their peers
while
 others conduct their business meetings rather than face-to-face in order to save their money and time. In a nutshell,
although
 numerous human beings believe that talking online is not a good trend yet, I strongly assert that the usage of the net is undeniable which was not possible in previous times.
Submitted by Shaxnoza on

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task achievement
Make sure that your essay directly answers both parts of the question: Why is this happening and whether it is a positive or negative development? Although you have addressed both, sharper focus and clearer stance throughout the essay would improve this.
coherence cohesion
Your essay tends to repeat certain points. Try to introduce new information or arguments in each paragraph to support your thesis more compellingly.
general
Include a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate your language ability more effectively. This can also prevent the repetition of similar phrases and make your arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
Be cautious with generalizations and unsupported claims. Try to incorporate more specific examples or statistical data to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on essay structure by clearly dividing your essay into introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each body paragraph should contain a clear main idea and supporting sentences.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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