IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Companies are responsible only for making money for their investors. Therefore, they should not be held accountable for the environmental and social costs of their business activity to society as a whole. Businesses should do no more than concentrate on making profit. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#companies #money #investors #costs #business #activity #society #businesses #profit
Nobody would argue that the reason businesses and corporations exist is to make a profit for the owners and shareholders.
However
, a key question is whether
such
companies
 should
also
 have a duty of responsibility to the
world
 that they exist in, particularly in terms of their social and environmental impact. I personally believe they do for the following reasons.
Firstly
, it is impossible to divorce
companies
 from the
world
 in which they exist. After all, they are run by people and produce their products and services
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
for society in general. History has shown us countless cases where
companies
 have disregarded
such
 obligations, causing terrible environmental damage to the planet, and at its most extreme
haveeven
Correct your spelling
have even
have ever
 been guilty of murder. As
citizens
Add a comma
citizens,
show examples
 we are all expected to follow laws that are designed to protect both the planet and its inhabitants. Making
companies
 exempt from the same rules would be perverse. In effect, it would mean one rule for us and another for them. Without accountability, capitalist greed would run wild creating massive inequality, and
longer
Correct word choice
in the long
show examples
 term, life on
this
 planet would eventually be destroyed. If anything,
companies
 should required to set an example for society, given how much they dominate the
world
 in which we live. In conclusion, whilst I accept that the business
world
 is motivated by profit, it is my firm belief that we all have to abide by the same rules and
companies
 are no exception. I cannot see any circumstance in which they should be absolved from
this
. To argue the contrary is, to my mind, untenable.
Submitted by aakbarov2010 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to include more varied and specific examples from real-world situations or studies to enhance your argument and provide tangible evidence for your points.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider more varied and sophisticated linking words and phrases. This can help to create a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs, enriching the readability of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • shareholders
  • wider communities
  • long-term detriments
  • ethical practices
  • sustainable practices
  • social welfare programs
  • brand image
  • customer loyalty
  • corporate social responsibility (CSR)
  • sustainable growth
  • government regulations
  • consumer pressure
  • environmental and social accountability
  • business models
What to do next:
Look at other essays: