IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#everybody #amount #income #support #charity
The question of whether individuals should provide a fixed portion of their salaries to charity on a regular basis is debatable. I strongly agree with
this
 perspective as it can help to address social issues. In the following paragraph, I will elaborate on my stance.
To begin
 with, it is everyone's responsibility to contribute towards improving their community.
This
 can be done through various ways,
such
 as volunteering or donating to charities.
In addition
, it is essential to note that donating some part of their income to
such
 organizations can be utilized for the betterment of society as a whole.
However
,
this
 step will not burden anyone but benefit many
as a result
 we can provide a better world for the next generations.
Furthermore
, people’s charitable actions can help to resolve issues
such
 as providing education for underprivileged children. Regular funding is required for
this
 cause, which can only be achieved through charitable donations.
Consequently
, in future, these children will be able to contribute to the betterment of the society.
Additionally
, some charities have a limited number of donors, preventing them from providing food, homes and other necessities to people in need. By providing a fixed amount to these charities, they can tackle these social problems on a larger scale.
For example
, Khalsa aid,
this
 trust helps people around the world. In the end, I believe, people’s small steps toward sharing a small portion of their profits or salaries can help to prevent many social issues
such
 as education for children, and providing essential items to people
Submitted by gurisidhu95214 on

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task achievement
To enhance task response, ensure that your essay fully addresses the prompt. While you express a strong agreement with donating a portion of income to charity, expanding on potential counterarguments before refuting them can provide a more comprehensive response. This demonstrates an ability to critically engage with the topic and shows depth in your reasoning.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence and cohesion by structuring your essay more effectively. Begin with an engaging introduction that clearly states your thesis. Then, organize your body paragraphs around distinct main points, each supported by specific examples or explanations. Conclude your essay by summarizing your key arguments and restating your position, potentially considering the broader implications of your viewpoint. Using transitional phrases between sentences and paragraphs also enhances flow.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to strengthen your argument. While mentioning Khalsa Aid is a good start, further elaborating on how this charity (or others) directly benefits from fixed donations and the specific impact it has made can reinforce your argument. Whenever possible, use concrete figures, statistics, or detailed case studies to support your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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