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Writing Samples /
Band 7

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
Presently sellers adopt
such
 a marketing strategy so that the product, which is launched seems new to buyers.
This
 essay will describe the reasons behind
this
 phenomenon and
also
 I mostly believe it is a negative development. The main reasons behind the manufacturer's thought of
such
 advertising are attracting customers and increasing the company’s sales revenue. Modifying old products slightly and presenting them with adverts can easily attract a group of people.
This
 creates a hunger to replace the previous
one
 with a new
one
. Another vital factor is increasing the sales revenue of the producer, whenever buyers are tempted to buy a new product, the seller will benefit financially, which is helpful for the growth of the company.
For example
, Apple introduces a new version of the iPhone every year by changing
one
 or two features only over the years Apple has become
one
 of the height profitable companies in the world, which was not possible without proper advertising. From my perspective,
this
 statement holds drawbacks
due to
 the fact that it is just an unnecessary expense because the same purpose could be served by the previous
one
. In
another word
Fix the agreement mistake
other words
show examples
, it can be said that it is just daring out valuable money.
Moreover
, it has become a social problem. Unable to update with new products is treated as socially backdated.
For instance
, people face different kinds of bullying in society because of being backdated.
This
 often leads someone to be involved in various crimes.
To conclude
,
although
 from company's prospects are positive in the sense of its growth, I mostly believe
this
 is a negative development from the client's end.
Submitted by mokaddamul on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay, consider creating clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Use linking phrases to make the connection between points more seamless.
coherence cohesion
Introducing a wider variety of sentence structures can enhance the readability and sophistication of your essay. Aim to vary your sentence starters and lengths.
task achievement
While your essay addresses the task and provides relevant examples, pushing for deeper analysis and more unique perspectives can enrich your arguments. Consider exploring less obvious reasons behind advertising strategies and their broader social implications.
task achievement
Always proofread for minor grammar mistakes and ensure your usage is consistently formal and appropriate for an academic context. This will help increase the professionalism of your writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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