Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In
this
competitive age world, money
and appearance
make everything become easier. A part of society believes this
viewpoint while
others think hard work
and determination
will gain success
. This
writer is going to discuss both views and give my opinion.
First of all, hard-working
and Correct word choice
hard work
determination
play important roles in success
. Lack of knowledge can be solved by being determined. For example
, students who graduated from university after three years could have wages as same as citizens who worked since graduated from high school while
professionals learning more than five years at university could have a triple wage. Consequently
, hard work
is a essential skills that allow individuals to solve complex problems and reach long-term goals.
Another point of view, beauty and money
's influence increased dramatically recently. One of the main reasons is that it is hard to start a business or be public
figure without financial Correct article usage
a public
sources
. Correct your spelling
resources
For instance
, audiences tend to be attracted by pretty celebrities and individuals who leave an impression in their minds, so activists with attractive looks have a huge advantage in the industry.
From my point of view, finances and appearance
may be an insufficient feature to achieve true success
. If that person does not have satisfaction and motivation to work
, they will have difficulty pursuing the path of success
. However
, having determination
and knowledge can easily help people being promoted and gain respect. Hence
knowledge and ceaseless effort are the most crucial elements to move up our career ladder.
Taking everything into account, it is true that money
and appearance
are two vital keys to someone's success
, money
and appearance
can facilitate people in their careers but success
only can be achieved through hard work
and determination
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Task Achievement
Ensure that every paragraph has a clear central idea and that examples or explanations provided directly support this idea to enhance the relevance of your examples.
Task Achievement
Focus on providing a more balanced discussion by devoting equal development to both views presented in the question prompt. This will ensure a more comprehensive response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs by using a wider variety of linking words and phrases beyond just 'first of all,' 'another point of view,' and 'from my point of view.'
Coherence and Cohesion
Endeavor to clearly outline your opinion in the introduction, reinforce it in the body paragraphs, and reiterate it in the conclusion for a stronger, more cohesive argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Carefully proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and to ensure the use of the correct tense and agreement between subject and verb.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
