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Band 6

some people believe the best way to tackle pollution is by paying tax others disagree. discuss both views and state your opinion

#people #pollution #tax
In the modern world, nowadays the environmental issue is numerous problems in many countries. which is the
government
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
 attention to
this
problem
. Some
people
 think that the
solution
 to
this
problem
 is
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
government
 should increase taxation. In my opinion, I believe that
taxes
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the best method for
this
problem
.
To begin
 with, the
solution
 to countering
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
 by
addition
Replace the word
add
show examples
taxes
, if the
government
 increase
taxes
, the
pollution
 awareness of
people
 will be better than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 past. Because they will be
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
 about the cost of punishment, which
is
Verb problem
will
show examples
 result
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 more expense.
Moreover
, the
taxes
 from
this
solution
 would be managed by the
government
 to improve their countries.
For example
, they will improve facilities for
recycling
Correct article usage
the recycling
show examples
 industry or create new innovations to tackle
this
problem
.
In contrast
, some
people
 argue that there are many
method
Change to a plural noun
methods
show examples
 to address
this
problem
 rather than
taxes
.
Firstly
, the
government
 should upgrade
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 knowledge about types of
pollution
 and
pollution
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
.
Due to when
Change preposition
When
show examples
 they know
abuot
Correct your spelling
about
these information
Change the determiner
this information
show examples
, they will
be protect
Change the verb form
protect
show examples
 themselves from
emerge
Change the verb form
emerging
show examples
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
.
Secondly
, the
government
 should encourage
people
 to clean recycling their plastics
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
.
Lastly
, From individual
solutions
Add a comma
solutions,
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 should utilize
mroe
Correct your spelling
more
 in public transport
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
 drive
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 cars, which have a part
for reduce
Change preposition
in reducing
show examples
 air
pollution
 problems.
To conclude
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
taxation is one of the best
solution
Change to a plural noun
solutions
show examples
 for
improve
Change the verb form
improving
show examples
 awareness and
strict
Change the word
strictly
show examples
to tackle
Change the verb form
tackling
show examples
pollution
.
In contrast
, there are many
solution
Change to a plural noun
solutions
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
problem
such
 as
knowlegde
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 of
pollution
,
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraging
show examples
people
 to recycle and public transport. I strongly believe in taxation.
Submitted by kungslowjam on

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Structure
Ensure your essay is well-structured, starting with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs, each discussing a separate view or argument, and concluding with a summary of your stance.
Paragraphing
Aim to clearly delineate your paragraphs, utilizing one central idea per paragraph supported by relevant examples or explanations.
Flow
Keep your writing logically coherent, ensuring that ideas flow from one to the next smoothly, using transitional phrases where necessary.
Task Response
For task achievement, ensure that you fully address all parts of the task prompt, presenting a clear opinion and discussing both views as required.
Supporting Details
Integrate specific examples or data to support your points. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
You have presented a clear stance on the issue and discussed both views as the prompt requested.
Structure
Your essay demonstrates a good use of structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each argument, and a conclusion summarizing your opinion.
Flow
You've made a commendable effort to create a logically flowing narrative, employing transitions between ideas effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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