Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

A handful of people are of the opinion that fixed punishment for some
crimes
like murder is the right way to go.
However
, there are other people who argue that the nature of the
crimes
committed should
also
be taken into account. I will discuss both sides of
this
coin
in depth
Add a hyphen
in-depth
show examples
and provide my perspective.
To begin
with,
death
penalty
crimes
, including major
crimes
like murder and
drug
trafficking, should be dealt with the worst penalties available. The reason it is done
this
way is that it sets a strict stance to the public and anyone who has any kind of opinion is doing the same thing.
This
will not only prevent any other similar wrongdoings
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
reassure everyone that the country does not tolerate these
crimes
.
For example
, in my country,
Singapore
, finding even the slightest trace of drugs in
someones
Change to a genitive case
someone's
show examples
possession will call for jail time for
drug
traffickers or, worse, the
death
penalty
. These strict penalties have made
Singapore
one of the safest countries in the world. On the other side of the coin, it can be argued that certain situations can lead even the most law-abiding citizen astray. People who commit heinous
crimes
may be in a bad place at a bad time and have no choice but to commit those acts.
For example
, a recently captured
drug
mule was forced to deliver
drug
packages from London to
Singapore
because his spouse was kidnapped by a
drug
mafia in his home country of Colombia.
This
sparked a global call for the
Singapore
Judicial Council to reconsider the
death
penalty
awarded to him. Ultimately, in my opinion, all capital
crimes
should be dealt with by a definite
death
penalty
such
as life or
death
for the sake of public safety and
also
to act as a part of deterrence for future
crimes
.
However
, I
also
encourage all
crimes
to be thoroughly investigated because there are certainly examples where an innocent person is doing something they did not do of their own free will but
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
being forced and masterminded. He should be arrested and
instead
Add a comma
instead,
show examples
he should face
punicement
Correct your spelling
punishment
.
Submitted by hadvaniparth1 on

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Clarity
Ensure a clear distinction between your personal opinion and the discussion of both views to enhance clarity.
Coherence
Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay.
Evidence Support
Be cautious with the use of hypothetical examples to support your arguments. Real-world statistics or studies add more weight and credibility.
Introduction & Conclusion
You've effectively introduced and concluded your essay, presenting a balanced discussion followed by a reasoned opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay displays strong coherence, with a clear logical structure that guides the reader through your argument seamlessly.
Task Achievement
Use of relevant examples to support your points, enhancing your arguments. Incorporating real-world examples like Singapore's policies greatly strengthens your case.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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