You are interested in attending a training course abroad but require financial support to do so. Write a letter to the education department requesting financial assistance.

#course #support #education #department #assistance

Dear Sir, I hope

this

letter finds you well. My name is Aayush Chappu, and I am currently studying in the third semester of

bachelor’s

Correct pronoun usage

my bachelor’s

show examples

in business administration at your university. I am writing

this

letter to request the financial assistance provided by our institute to the students having

the

Correct article usage

show examples

average GPA of 3.5 out of 4, and my combined GPA of two semesters is 3.8. As you are aware

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the university allows students to enrol in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

practical training courses

Change preposition

apply

show examples

abroad and, I am very interested in attending

Change the article

show examples

8-weeks

Fix the agreement mistake

8-week

show examples

business analytics training course offered by the University of Toronto. Since

this

program

teaches

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

data analytics by using real data sets of Canadian businesses, it will help me a lot in learning applied data analytical skills.

However

, the tuition fee for

this

program

is very high, and it is impossible for my parents to afford it. Though I can apply for a student loan, my application will surely be rejected as I

already taken

Add the auxiliary verb

took

have already taken

show examples

a student loan for my current

program

Therefore

, I am kindly requesting you approve my application for

financial

Add an article

the financial

a financial

show examples

assistance

program

. I would appreciate your positive response. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Aayush

Submitted by aayushvsanghvi8 on Fri Mar 29 2024

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Enhancement

Consider providing specific examples of how the training will benefit your future career, to enhance the persuasiveness of your request.

Introduction

You've effectively introduced yourself and your academic standing, which establishes credibility.

Topic Explanation

You clearly explained your interest and the importance of the training course.

Request Articulation

Successfully made a polite request for financial assistance, stating the reasons why it's needed.

Tone

The letter maintains a suitable formal tone throughout, appropriate for the context.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

204 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You are interested in attending a training course abroad but require financial support to do so. Write a letter to the education department requesting financial assistance.

Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some believe that living in an apartment are advantageous, but other argue it in contrast. Discuss both views.

Some people think that children should receive formal training at school on how to be good parents in the future. Do you agree or disagree with this statement??

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.