Nowadays, people have developed poor eating habits and do not eat a balanced diet. What are the reasons behind this? Suggest possible solutions to control this.
Today, many people have adopted irregular and unbalanced diets. There are multiple reasons for
this
, budget constraints and a busy lifestyle being the most important. These can be mended by avoiding unhealthy food
and adopting a nutritious eating routine.
From one point of view, there are various reasons contributing to the prevalence of imbalanced diets, such
as demanding work schedules and limited incomes. Many people are deeply occupied with their professional commitments, leaving them with inadequate time for proper meals of hydration. Additionally
, low-income individuals are constrained in their ability to afford wholesome food
options, thereby affecting their dietary patterns. For instance
, the Ministry of Health in Indonesia has reported an increasing proneness to diabetes and heart-related conditions among its citizens.
Some solutions that can be done to this
problem are establishing a regular nutrition plan and reducing the consumption of fast food
. Maintaining a consistent meal plan that includes a balanced selection of proteins and vegetables is essential. Moreover
, the intake of instant noodles, pizza, burgers, and other junk foods should be diminished, as excessive consumption of processed food
can elevate the risk of various illnesses. To exemplify, some companies have implemented structured eating timetables for their employees, offering healthy menu options are part of their wellness initiatives.
In conclusion, the modern era’s rapid advancements have produced many issues in our daily lives, including unbalanced dietary intake due to
heavy work hours and low earnings. Consequently
, there is a need to manage and improve these habits by promoting the consumption of healthy meals.Submitted by Fadilla.audrey on
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Introduction Clarity
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Linguistic Variety
Use a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate linguistic flexibility and precision in conveying your ideas. While your essay is well-written, increasing the variety can help convey your points more dynamically.
Use of Evidence
Whenever possible, quantify your arguments with statistics or studies to bolster the credibility of your claims. You've mentioned a report from the Ministry of Health in Indonesia; similarly, incorporating more such evidence could further strengthen your argument.
Structure
The essay is well-structured, making good use of paragraphs to organize the discussion logically, from identifying problems to suggesting solutions.
Task Response
You've successfully identified both causes and solutions to the issue of poor eating habits, fully addressing the prompt.
Balanced Argumentation
Your essay maintains a good balance between explanation and illustration, particularly with examples like the Ministry of Health in Indonesia and company wellness initiatives.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.