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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this?

#internet #lives #decades #changes #effect #technology
There are several contractions regarding when it comes to the subject of whether the advantages of the
Internet
 are more than its problems or not. In my opinion, I agree that most of the problems caused by technology can be dealt with. It is commonly believed that there are some disadvantages witnessed by society because of the full dependence on the
Internet
 in most of life's aspects. Rather than taking the responsibility, people tend to rely on new technologies.
Therefore
, it significantly noticed that it caused several psychological diseases
such
 as depression, overthinking and less confidence to do normal things independently knowing that it could be done much more accurately by AI.
Moreover
,
it is clear that
 using the
Internet
 more frequently is the best way to easily lose your time.
On the other hand
, I agree that even though there are many effects caused by
Internet
 applications, it is not impossible to solve them.
For example
, you can treat social media addiction by reducing the time consumed by individuals navigating through different programs.
Furthermore
, governments should take a series of steps to avoid and treat health aspects that are related to or caused by the
Internet
. In conclusion.
while
 there are plenty of negative sides to the
internet
 I believe that the countless benefits are much more.
Thus
, it is crucial that a number of actions should be taken to make the
overall
 technology positive.
Submitted by s116656m on

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grammar
Be mindful of small grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'contractions regarding' which seems misplaced. Aim for 'contradictions regarding' or simply 'contradictions when it comes to' for clarity.
content
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. While you've discussed the general advantages and disadvantages, adding real-world examples or studies can make your argument more compelling.
style
Watch for informal language, especially in academic essays. Phrases like 'lost your time' could be formalized to 'wastage of time' to maintain academic tone.
content
Your essay presents a balanced view, discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of the Internet, which aligns well with the question's requirements.
structure
You structured your essay logically, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in clearly presenting your arguments.
analysis
You've done well in providing counterarguments and then reasoning why the advantages still outweigh the disadvantages, which demonstrates good critical thinking skills.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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