Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Currently, many individuals who are dealing with physical and mental issues are taking medications on their own in the replacement of going to the doctor. I personally believe that
this
statement is a terrible development and will bring great sequences in the long run.
Firstly
, regarding the growth of technology, each person owns a smartphone that can have access to widespread information through them,
however
, not all the information provided is accurate and reliable, as some people are giving some information with no scientific base.
As a result
, many individuals can be fooled by them and tend to rely on some treatments and medicines to feel better not knowing the consequences of them, which can
also
be the reason for their future difficulties.
For example
, there are a variety of physical movements available on social media regarding workouts to prevent backache, but the bones in our back are crucial to our life, and with a sudden wrong movement, the ability to walk might be lost for the rest of our lifetime.
On the contrary
, using these supplements without professional help will eventually make the immune system weak day by day so that the white blood
cells
in our body will not be able to fight against viruses.
For instance
, a majority of people use anti-biotics on a daily basis when they feel a tiny cold,
therefore
, studies show that
this
behaviour has made our blood
cells
lose their ability to recognize the strange
cells
and
as a result
of it, they will attack the beneficial
cells
, and will cause some serious problems.
To sum up
, from my perspective, visiting a doctor often can have several benefits rather than home personal treatments, since these techniques may lead to irreplaceable difficulties in the future.
Submitted by vaniaa.z.h2005 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure your essay addresses the topic clearly and maintains focus throughout. Sometimes, you could further emphasize the direct impact on the question asked for stronger task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures more to enhance readability and flow. Using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can add sophistication to your writing.
task achievement
Be cautious with generalizations. It's important to remember that while some examples may support your argument, stating them as universal truths might oversimplify complex issues.
task achievement
You provided a clear stance on the topic, which is essential for a coherent essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids the reader's understanding.
task achievement
Use of relevant and specific examples to support your main points strengthened your argument and made it more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: