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Band 6.5

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding the changes. Others, however think that changes is always a good thing. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

#people #lives #changes
Every individual has a special view of life in general, and,
while
 we can discuss positive or negative behaviours, it is up to each one of us to live our lives as we want, as long as we do not influence others or society in a wrong matter. In my honest opinion,
while
 we are behavioural creatures,
changes
 are always welcomed as they disguise themselves as opportunities for improvement. To argue my stand, most studies suggest that
changes
, and specifically behavioural
changes
, have been the core movement in historical humanity's improvement.
Change
Add an article
The change
show examples
 appears as an effect of humans looking to adjust their current lifestyle and, as we are naturally looking to live the greatest life possible, aiming for a change could only be a sign of individuals looking to improve their current situation.
While
this
 can be very difficult to achieve, I believe it is essential to always look for improvement,
hence
 we need to address
changes
 in our lifespan.
On the other hand
, someone could argue that
changes
 are difficult to make and, regardless of the inputted effort, positive outcomes are not guaranteed. I think
this
 raises an interesting and difficult question, "is it really worth spending the energy in
this
 case"? Getting out of your comfort zone and actively and purposely putting yourself in a difficult situation is not an easy thing to do, especially when avoiding
changes
 represents sitting in a comfortable, well-known environment. In conclusion,
while
 I can absolutely understand why most people find
changes
 difficult to make, I think these are undisputably and needed to evolve as individuals and
therefore
 as a society as a whole.
Submitted by atomoiaga46 on

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Task Achievement
Remember to provide more varied and specific examples to support your arguments. This adds depth and clarity to your essay, making your point of view even stronger.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence, aim for smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Use transitional phrases to help guide the reader through your argument in a more fluid manner.
General
Reviewing your essay for any grammatical errors or inconsistencies can also help improve the overall quality of your writing. Pay special attention to verb tenses and sentence structure.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, clearly presenting the debate on change.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, reinforcing the importance of change for individual and societal growth.
Balance and Fairness
You've done well in discussing both viewpoints, ensuring a balanced essay that respects different perspectives on change.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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