Some people think that art lessons such as paintings and drawing lessons should be compulsory in secondary schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #art #lessons #paintings #schools

Integrating

art

subjects

must be mandatory in the school

curriculum

which is considered by some flux of

people

and I largely agree with

this

statement because these lessons lessen stress

as well as

can unearth hidden talents which bring them towards career development. To commence with,

people

who are opposite of above-given view consider that these

subjects

might consume student's precious time which should be applied on other important

subjects

such

as mathematics and science. To explain it, if children are given time for painting and drawing

subjects

which get their attention more than another syllabus

then

they will not be able to concentrate on science

subjects

due to

a lack of interest in these challenging

curriculum

Fix the agreement mistake

curricula

show examples

thus

, they would not opt other career paths except

art

subjects

. Shifting towards the view of agreement, implementing

art

lessons not only decreases student's stress but

also

sharpen

Correct subject-verb agreement

sharpens

show examples

their thinking skills. To elaborate , today's younger receive a lot of work from their mathematics and other

curriculum

instructors which leads them towards depression,

therefore

, if these

subjects

are applied in pupil's school

curriculum

then

they will divert their attention towards fun activities and it will assist them to reduce some burden from their mind.

For instance

, a survey conducted by Harward University in 2016 found that some schools added

art

subjects

and students are more excited than before as they enjoy painting and drawing

along with

challenging

subjects

Furthermore

, these essential

subjects

are

also

a fact of a successful life as some students show their hidden talents by painting and earn a lot of money by choosing

this

career.

For example

, a headline shown in an international newspaper that in India 55% of

people

who are disabled draw paintings and earn money for their families,

consequently

, these

subjects

become a source of poor and disabled

people

's income. In conclusion, applying some interesting

syllabus

Fix the agreement mistake

syllabi

show examples

in the school

curriculum

not only mitigates children's stress but

also

assists in earning money by showing their hidden talents with the help of painting and drawing.

Submitted by maninderdeep on Sun Mar 31 2024

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General

Your essay provides a well-balanced argument that discusses both sides of the topic effectively. It is clear you understand the importance of covering different viewpoints, which bolsters the strength of your own opinion.

Introduction & Conclusion

Your introduction successfully sets up the topic and your stance on it, clearly stating that you agree with making art lessons mandatory. This helps orient the reader immediately.

Structure & Organization

You have organized your essay logically, with clear paragraphs that each address a distinct point. This structure aids the reader's understanding and keeps your argument coherent.

Supporting Examples

You use relevant examples to support your viewpoints, such as the survey conducted by Harvard University and the case of disabled individuals in India benefiting from art. These examples make your argument more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

337 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that art lessons such as paintings and drawing lessons should be compulsory in secondary schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people say that web contents should be used to instruct children. Others think that it is not helpful in an educational setting. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

in some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. what are the reasons for this? how can people research this?

In many countries, children are engaged paid in some kind of paid work. some people regard this as completely wrong. while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. discuss both these views and give your opinion.