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Band 6.5

Tobacco is a kind of drug. People have been free to use it. Some people think that it should be illegal to use it comparing with other drugs. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What is your opinion?

#tobacco #drug #people #drugs
Individuals have been given the liberty to practice tobacco drugs but certain demographics of society think that it should be unlawful to use them. I largely agree with the said notion
due to
 increasing health issues and loss of youth. To commence with views of disagreement that drug is used as
an
Change the article
a
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 herbal medication for different diseases in small villages as they do not have access to all the company's basic medical stuff so they benefit tobacco for healing.
In addition
 to
this
, it will affect the agriculture field as well because some of the farmers grow it and export it to different countries that use it to
make
Correct your spelling
take
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 medication.Banning it will create a huge impact in some fields. Shifting towards views of agreement,
due to
 high usage of
this
 drug it leads to severe chronic illness like cancer, lung problems and many more.To explain,as it is available without money and people do not know its drawbacks they start getting addicted especially people who are under the poverty line and low income.
For example
,
according to
 'An Indian' 2019 survey there is 75% of transport drivers have kidney issues and asthma problems and it is
also
 mentioned that they smoke 3 or 4 times a day.
Hence
,the government should declare the usage of tobacco as lawbreaking.
Further
 strengthening views
due to
 addiction among youth.In today's competitive era, young minds are always under stress for jobs ,for competitive exams and studies so they start taking drugs in the form of cigarettes, chewing gums and many more.
Moreover
, they start becoming addicted to it.Even though these days cigars come smokeless it is hard for families to find that their children are using drugs.
Due to
 these things young death rates have increased.
For instance
,
according to
 WHO(World Health Organisation) charts ,it is found that 8 out of 10 kids are addicted to vapes.
Thus
,declaring it illegal will create a positive impact on pupils.
To conclude
,
although
 it has some positive uses yet prohibiting it will save many young lives and I
also
 strongly believe that forbidding it will be beneficial for youth and many people aliveness.
Submitted by nandnilekhi on

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consistency
Ensure a clear stance throughout the essay, though the position is clear, maintaining consistent support of your viewpoint strengthens the argument.
paragraph organisation
Use paragraphs effectively to organise different aspects of your argument. This enhances the logical flow and makes your essay easier to follow.
sentence variation
To avoid repetition and to keep the reader engaged, aim to vary your sentence structures. This also shows a higher level of language proficiency.
example relevance
When providing examples, make sure they are specific and relevant to support your argument. This strengthens your case and makes your position more convincing.
introduction/conclusion
You provided a strong introduction and conclusion, effectively bookending your argument.
supporting examples
You've used relevant examples to support most of your points, which strengthens your argument.
task coverage
The essay covers the task comprehensively, effectively addressing different facets of the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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