You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #internet #books #air #tickets #groceries

Paralleled with the development of the

Internet

, online shopping has become increasingly popular nowadays. Some people claim that shopping on the

Internet

has various disadvantages. From my perspective,

however

, the benefits of online shopping far outweigh its drawbacks. One primary reason is the

return

policy

. Various companies provide a

return

policy

for

products

sold on the

Internet

. All of these

products

can be returned without any additional charge.

Therefore

customers

have the opportunity to give it a try of these

products

before they eventually decide to buy them. Take Apple as an example, there is a seven-day

return

policy

. If people buy an Apple device via online shopping, no matter why they do not want to buy these electronic devices, they can

return

the product in

this

period.

However

products

purchased in the Apple store do not abide by

this

policy

, which means

customers

do not have the right to

return

the

products

. Opponents of online shopping usually state that individual information might be leaked when people shop on the

internet

Nevertheless

, the security of the

Internet

has improved rapidly during the past decades.

Moreover

, online shopping might take

customers

' information more seriously than offline shopping.

For instance

, when a customer uses a

credit

card

to pay, not only do the selling companies verify the

credit

card

belongs to the person, but the

credit

card

companies

also

verify the payment was made by the

credit

card

owner.

Thus

, there is a two-way verification during

this

purchase process. By way of conclusion, I firmly believe that the merits of online shopping far outweigh its drawbacks. Not only can it guarantee a

return

policy

for

customers

, but it

also

provides safer channels for payment.

Submitted by weber61543 on Mon Apr 01 2024

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Balance of Argument

Ensure you address both advantages and disadvantages in your essay. It appears that the emphasis is more on the advantages, which might make the essay seem unbalanced. Try to discuss both sides more evenly.

Use of Evidence

Including some more specific, personal examples or evidence would strengthen your argument. While the Apple example is good, adding a personal anecdote or broader statistics could enhance credibility.

Language Use

Watch out for minor grammatical errors and unintended word repetitions (e.g., 'buy these electronic devices, they can return the product in this period'). Even though they don't significantly impede understanding, polishing your language use can improve the overall presentation.

Structure

You've structured your essay logically, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs focusing on specific points, and a concise conclusion.

Coherence

Your argument is coherent, with each paragraph fleshing out a specific aspect of the advantages of online shopping, making the essay easy to follow.

Use of Examples

You successfully provided relevant examples (e.g., Apple's return policy) to support your points, enhancing the persuasiveness of your argument.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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