IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

#robots #intelligence #humans #workplace #impact #society
It is a common belief that automation and AI have been predicted to alter
people
 in the workplace in the future
due to
 the reduction of costs in the company.
This
 situation will lead to a negative impact on communication because of the gap between each person. It is undeniable that AI plays an essential role in our lives, but it cause a serious effect on the lives of employees. Many
robots
 are bought by huge companies, the director wants to buy them to reduce the costs which are related to the humans in the process. Not only that,
robots
 and AI can solve a huge number of information as soon as possible
while
people
 need more days to tackle with. Take Japan as a prime example, where
robots
 hold a vital key to the production progress. Each factory almost has
robots
, their manager believe that
robots
 and AI can work all day without relaxing or other demanding
people
.
Besides
, they can work in a hazardous environment which can affect
people
's health directly.
Therefore
, more companies and factories choose machines
instead
 of employees. Another argument worth considering is that
robots
 and AI can have an uncooperative impact on society. When
robots
 develop,
people
 tend to depend more on them and want to tackle the problem at home
instead
 of going to the office.
This
 results in a phenomenon that more
people
 in spite of working at the same branch, do not know about each other.
Besides
,
robots
also
 make
people
 more afraid to communicate with each other when on the street because there are many
robots
 or apps related to artificial intelligence that help
people
 find the information they need
instead
 of having to ask
people
 around the previous time. It may be a reason why more
people
 are not keen on the technology. Taking everything into consideration,
people
 cannot deny that automation can bring more benefits for
people
however
 it can damage their lives directly and have a pessimistic effect on humanity.
Submitted by nguyenkhuyenhcmcs4k11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Work on a more cohesive introduction and conclusion to present your topic and summarise your arguments effectively.
examples
Try to integrate examples smoothly into your argument, ensuring they directly support your main points.
task achievement
Ensure you fully address all parts of the task, providing balanced arguments for both sides or questions.
language
Effective use of topic-specific vocabulary relevant to the argument.
cohesion
Good logical flow of ideas with clear argument development throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Efficiency
  • Cost-effective
  • Innovation
  • Technological advancements
  • Job displacement
  • Economic disparity
  • Dependency
  • Cyber-attacks
  • Ethical concerns
  • Moral questions
  • Standard of living
  • Income gap
  • Widespread automation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: