Human activities have negative impacts on plants and animals. Some say it’s too late to do anything about the problem. Others believe that effective measures can be taken to improve the situation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The vital role of plants and animals on the Earth is undeniable. It has sparked heated controversies that many people claim consequences which
humans
do are too late to address, whereas
others have the opposite points
that Fix the agreement mistake
point
humans
can use greater valid ways to improve these environmental issues. From my perspective, I agree with the latter.
Admittedly, the damage which humans
create to the natural environment is acceptable. In the process of producing goods for human use, releases a bunch of toxic gas into the air, also
a large amount of poisonous liquids are pumped into the river. These problems are hard to solve, particularly in terms of human morality. Besides
, awareness of each person plays a key part in recover
Change the verb form
recovering
the
nature, Correct article usage
apply
for instance
, many companies take full advantage of natural resources to reduce produced
costs. So, the natural resources are destroyed and depleted at an alarming rate. Replace the word
production
In addition
, rare plants and rare animals are usually traded at the luxury cost rate which greedy merchants,
and authorities are willing to trade illegally, bribe and embezzle. Remove the comma
apply
As a result
, the proportion of rare animal extinctions is higher, primeval forests are gradually replaced by "managed" forests. It is hard to rectify these things, except for humans
have
significant awareness and consideration about it.
Wrong verb form
having
However
, it still has
many solutions to enhance these environmental problems. Verb problem
apply
First,
prioritize using recycled and friendly materials, when potential customers go toward these products or these core values, corporations are willing to concentrate on to attract
more clients. From that, the environmental values are gradually Change the verb form
attracting
spreaded
, more people know, Correct your spelling
spread
more
core values are built. Correct word choice
and more
Furthermore
, governments and authorities need to promulgate rules, use punishments and put a high tax on retailers, who trade illegally and make
fraud.
In conclusion, even though it is quite late to address these issues, I am of the opinion that efficient Verb problem
commit
measurements
can be considered to improve these environmental problems Replace the word
measures
due to
our awareness and strict regulations.Submitted by okookk123456 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure clarity and coherence by frequently reviewing and organizing your arguments. While your essay flows well, some points could be made more directly.
Task Achievement
Integrate more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. While your reasoning is sound, additional concrete examples would provide stronger support for your claims.
Language
Consider revising for grammar and punctuation for greater precision and accuracy. Minor errors can detract from the overall readability of your essay.
Task Achievement
Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both viewpoints before stating your own opinion, effectively addressing the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have demonstrated a good ability to organize your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example