It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweigh disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives #risk

There is an old saying that no

risk

no gain. The ability to take risks always tread

Change preposition

apply

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the path of success in the profession and personal lives.

This

essay will examine both the positive and negative sides of taking

risk

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risks

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. On the one hand, whenever anyone enters, any risky task,

then

a person usually puts the best effort

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into

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that work, as getting a good result is the main

the

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apply

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target for that human being.

This

results in bringing up the internal best things from a human.

Such

kind

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kinds

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people

always become successful in the long run and represent them as an important asset for family and workstation.

For example

, astronauts took their life

risk

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risks

show examples

to find out the mystery of

others planet

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other planets

show examples

, which gives the world enough resources to experiment

about

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various planets.

Moreover

capability

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the capability

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of undertaking dangerous Jobs makes

people

confident.

On the other hand

, conducting

the

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apply

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risky Jobs

are

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apply

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always creates mental pressure, and

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

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anxiety for the human.

This

is the reason why

people

are unable to concentrate properly as risky attempt always creates fear inside

people

This

result

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results

show examples

in leading

people

to become unhappy in their family life and

also

unsuccessful in their

career

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careers

show examples

For instance

, research shows that most of the tasks, which are failed all these undertaken unnecessary

risk

, without understanding the context of the

risk

factors.

To conclude

although

risk

involves some drawbacks like mental pressure and anxiety.

However

, I believe that positive sides are more

such

as growing confidence and developing human inherent ability.

Submitted by mokaddamul on Tue Apr 02 2024

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Expansion

Your essay effectively addresses the topic, providing a clear standpoint and adequately exploring both sides of the argument. To further enhance it, consider expanding on the examples provided, offering more depth to your arguments.

Tone

Maintaining a consistent and formal tone throughout your essay would strengthen your argument. Avoid using colloquial expressions or overly casual language to ensure your essay meets the expected academic standards.

Grammar and punctuation

Be mindful of sentence structure and punctuation. Varied sentence structures and correct punctuation will not only make your essay easier to read but also more engaging. Reviewing your essay for any grammatical errors can significantly improve its clarity and readability.

Structure

Your essay has a strong logical structure, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion that guide the reader through your argument.

Use of examples

You have done well to provide relevant examples to support your main points, adding credibility to your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweigh disadvantages?

Your opinion

In a free society, it is important to speak your opinion. Nowadays, people are begging to understand the values and strengths of free speech

Personal experiences in leadership roles, facilitating changes, and mentoring others

In the past important knowledge and history were stored in the museum. Nowadays information is freely available on the Internet therefore is no longer a need for museums. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

While mobile phones have many advantages a number of problems have also resulted from them or the ways in which they are used. What are some of those problems? What solutions can you suggest for solving these problems.