IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many people think that the government should not restrict what people say in public media as it is part of freedom of speech. To what extent do you agree to this statement?

#people #government #media #part #freedom #speech
Today, the right to free
speech
 is a fundamental part of democratic societies. A big sector of society thinks that
freedom
 of
speech
 in public media should not be limited by the
government
. In
this
 essay, I will explain why I completely agree with
this
 statement. There are some reasons why
freedom
 of expression has positive effects on our society.
To begin
 with, when in the country individuals can express their opinions and ideas even about the
government
's politics, the state is very democratic.
Therefore
, social cohesion is strong and
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 in a healthy society.
Additionally
, almost in any country the constitution always provides
freedom
 of
speech
 for their citizens.
Thus
, the legislatures must not restrict people's right to speak, but if they do, it means that
government
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 monopolise politics and do not follow their own laws.
Finally
, folk should have an approach to controlling
government
, and one of the methods is through free public speeches.
Hence
, legislatures will scared to break the laws.
However
, liberty of
speech
 needs to be limited, because crowd can
use
 it for selfish purposes. First of all, billions of people
use
 digital media, and most of them trust what they read. So,
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 with bad motives, terrorists and others
use
this
 function of social media to implement acts of terror or to find
trustful
Replace the word
trustworthy
show examples
 individuals to abuse them. On top of
this
, some people do not respect private life.
For example
, they spread gossip and private information, which negatively affects reputation and image.
To conclude
,
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
 can
use
freedom
 of
speech
 for dangerous acts and ruin the reputation of competitors. But, it is much more dangerous, what the
government
 can do, if citizens
will
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not have the right to free
speech
.
Submitted by vasilevici487 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language Use
Try to provide more varied sentence structures and employ a wider range of vocabulary to articulate your arguments more vividly.
Task Achievement
Including more specific examples could help strengthen your arguments and provide clearer support for your points.
Accuracy
Be mindful of slight inaccuracies in word choices and phrasing which could potentially detract from your message's clarity. A little proofreading could go a long way.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay provides a clear structure with a discernible introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids understanding.
Task Achievement
You have articulated a clear stance on the issue and defended it with relevant arguments, demonstrating good task achievement.
Balanced Argument
You've managed to tackle both sides of the argument, showing an ability to consider differing viewpoints, which enriches your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • freedom of speech
  • democratic societies
  • constitutions
  • diversity of opinions
  • government decisions
  • censorship
  • suppressive
  • dissenting opinions
  • arbitrary
  • detrimental
  • regulation
  • hate speech
  • misinformation
  • social cohesion
  • public safety
  • responsibilities
  • incite
  • discriminate
  • digital media
  • global platforms
  • international cooperation
  • standards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: