In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

In some nations, students living with their parents
while
they attend tertiary education are common. In other countries is expected that they move to other cities for course college. I believe that,
overall
, the benefits of studying in another town surpass the drawbacks. There are some advantages and disadvantages that
this
essay will discuss. The main advantage of studying far from home is the possibility to improve some personal skills, once the pupils have to resolve all the problems that can appear.
For example
, issues
such
as housing, bills, transportation, and bureaucracy have to be faced by themselves.
As a consequence
, the students become adults more prepared to work in the future.
Additionally
, living far from their parents' homes, adolescents can dedicate more time to academic subjects and they can experience life at university fully. In my personal experience, I attended college in another city far from my hometown.
This
situation encouraged me to manage several problems by myself, and after graduation, I felt more confident to apply for jobs and attend interviews.
On the other hand
, there are some negative aspects. One of the main cons is the cost of living higher than living at home. It is known that costs with housing and food are the major expenses.
Furthermore
, another disadvantage is that some people are not prepared to deal with loneliness. These people can feel homesick, or develop depression or some psychological disease. All in all,
to conclude
, I think that the positive points surpass the negative aspects. The time during
further
education is a time for growth and personal development. So, living in another town is an excellent opportunity to increase a lot of abilities.
As a result
, after getting a diploma, students get more life experience and independence to address adult responsibilities.
Submitted by fmulato on

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task response
Be sure to directly address the question prompt in your introduction for a clearer stance on the issue. This will make your thesis statement more direct and impactful.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to guide the reader through your argument more smoothly. This will enhance the flow of your essay.
task response
While providing personal experiences enriches your essay, also consider incorporating broader examples or data, which could strengthen your arguments and make them more relatable to a wider audience.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
You effectively discussed both sides of the argument, providing a balanced perspective.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and the reasons behind it, reinforcing your stance on the issue.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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