You recently bought an electronic device for your home. Your friend wants to buy the same device and has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter •describe the device •please explain why you bought it •say whether or not your friend should buy it and why.

#device #home #friend #advice #•describe #•please #•say

Dear Sam, I’m writing

this

letter to let you know about the device, which I purchased recently. Since the third year of our course, I

was

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

planning to buy a home laptop for my parents.

Furthermore

, they can use it to make online payments, browse various websites, and much more. My computer has the latest processor

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and updated Microsoft Windows operating system, which helps the laptop to transfer the data and to open an application within a second.

Moreover

, I already mentioned the reason why I purchased

this

automation device. Apart from that, I

also

planned to use

this

machine to create a cloud server, which helps me to save my files, from any corner of the world.

In addition

, I enabled a feature called virtual machine, which helps me to operate my system from my cell phone.

Finally

, I would like to provide some suggestions for

this

computer.

First,

It will be very useful for your parents to edit Word documents.

Second,

the software is completely user-friendly.

Therefore

, your father and mother can operate

this

machine without your help. I hope you can understand my suggestions, and looking forward to hearing from you soon. All the best, Kumar

Submitted by jeeveshkb22 on Wed Apr 03 2024

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion of the letter are clear, but ensuring a smooth transition between ideas within the body paragraphs could enhance readability.

task achievement

While you have covered the main points of the task, providing more specific examples and details about the device's features and its impact on your daily life would make your response more compelling.

task achievement

You effectively communicated the main purpose of the letter and clearly described the device, making your advice to your friend understandable.

coherence cohesion

Your letter has a good structure with an appropriate greeting, body, and closing, which makes it easy to follow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

199 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You recently bought an electronic device for your home. Your friend wants to buy the same device and has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter •describe the device •please explain why you bought it •say whether or not your friend should buy it and why.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people say history is one of the most important school subject. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

some children spend hours everyday on smartphone. why is this the case? do you think is a positive or negative development.

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many people feel it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example the tiger or the blue whale. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

51.Most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?