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Band 6.5

Nowadays many elderly people are living alone and this can cause a variety of problems. What are some of these problems, and what solutions can you suggest?

#people #variety
Growing older is a certain condition that will happen in everyone's life unless they are already dead. In recent times, the majority of elder
people
 are living alone with their own self.
This
 kind of issue definitely will bring some problems,
although
 there are a few solutions that I can offer that will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. Living alone makes the
elders
 feel lonely,
furthermore
, loneliness is a very bad feeling that humans can have.
Moreover
,
elders
 usually need some particular help from other
people
, especially from their children. So , if they are living alone, they are not getting pleasant care from their child. Importantly, what if some of the older
people
 who are living alone
also
 have a serious disease,
such
 as stroke, cancer, diabetes, etc
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 It can make the condition get even worse. With the aim to solve all of the problems mentioned before, I suggest that older
people
 need a companion to live, it can be their children, grandchildren, or other family members.
However
, there are a few older
people
 that do not have any family members.
This
 condition can be tackled by transferring those
elders
 to the rest home
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that they can be treated nicely. Another solution that I can offer is the government has to spend bigger funding to support the existence of rest homes.
To conclude
, in a case like
this
, there will always be a problem that will occur like insufficient care that
elders
 receive. But, there is a solution that can make the better outcome of
this
 issue.
Submitted by nadhyra.haninda on

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Ideas and Examples
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Paragraph Structure
Work on paragraphing and topic sentences to enhance the logical structure. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph.
Linking Words
Consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to improve cohesion between sentences and paragraphs. While some were used effectively, greater variety and precision could improve the readability of the essay.
Idea Development
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Introduction and Conclusion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay.
Task Response
The essay addresses the prompt by identifying problems faced by elderly people living alone and suggesting solutions, which demonstrates an understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Isolation
  • Mental health issues
  • Physical health risks
  • Daily activities
  • Financial difficulties
  • Housekeeping
  • Personal care
  • Medical services
  • Safety concerns
  • Vulnerable
  • Accidents
  • Scams
  • Social interaction
  • Healthcare costs
  • Social services
  • Community-based programs
  • In-home care services
  • Safety measures
  • Subsidize
  • Intergenerational living arrangements
  • Emotional support
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