It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, the rhythm of life is very fast and during the day people make a lot of different decisions. In some
situations
their decisions depend on Add a comma
situations,
that
whether they want to take Correct word choice
apply
risks
or not. While
there are some drawbacks of
taking Change preposition
to
risks
, I still believe that these cannot overshadow the benefits.
On the one hand, taking risks
can bring out some obvious disadvantages. It is undeniable that taking risks
might lead to big consequences that can have a serious impact on the
person’s life. Correct article usage
a
For instance
, last
time I took a risk
and decided to open my own coffee shop, it turned out to be not as simple as I thought it would be. I failed and lost a lot of money due to
lack
of knowledge in finance and business management. It Correct article usage
a lack
also
affected a lot my psychological state, I was burned out and depressed. Also
,
On the other hand
, I am concerned that the merits of taking risks
outweigh the demerits. Firstly
, decisions to risk
might lead to success. For example
, if a person, working as a simple consultant at some shop,
decides to pull himself or herself together and talk with a director about a promotion at work, a person’s request can be approved and he or she will move forward on the career ladder. Remove the comma
apply
Secondly
, taking risks
is usually about getting new experience and knowledge. Moreover
, risk taking
broadens Add a hyphen
risk-taking
person’s
horizons and helps Correct article usage
a person’s
person
to look at the same situation from different sides.
In conclusion, Add an article
a person
the person
while
there are some pros and cons of taking risks
, advantages
definitely outweigh Correct article usage
the advantages
disadvantages
. Not only does it help to move on the career ladder, but Correct article usage
the disadvantages
also
risk taking
provides an opportunity to get new experience.Add a hyphen
risk-taking
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coherence
Ensure all your sentences are fully completed to maintain the clarity of your argument.
task achievement
Consider distributing your examples and analyses more evenly throughout the essay to maintain balance.
task achievement
Try to explore both sides of the argument more evenly to provide a more comprehensive discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly outlines the essay structure, effectively preparing the reader.
task achievement
You use a personal example to support your point, which provides a convincing and relatable argument.