Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving happiness. Others, however believe that money has nothing to do with happiness. Discuss both views.

#people #money #factor #happiness

In contemporary society, the debate over the significance of

money

in achieving

happiness

remains contentious.

While

some contend that financial

wealth

is essential for

happiness

, others argue that true

happiness

transcends material possessions. Both perspectives offer valuable insights into the complex relationship between

money

and

happiness

. On one hand, proponents of the view that

money

is crucial for

happiness

emphasize the tangible benefits that financial

wealth

can provide. Individuals with ample financial resources are better equipped to meet their basic needs,

such

as food, shelter, and healthcare.

Moreover

, they have the means to access luxuries and experiences that can enhance their quality of life,

such

as travel, entertainment, and leisure activities.

Additionally

, financial security affords individuals the freedom to pursue their passions and aspirations without the constraints of financial limitations.

For instance

, those with sufficient

wealth

may have the opportunity to pursue higher education, pursue career ambitions, or engage in philanthropic

endeavors

Change the spelling

endeavours

show examples

that bring

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

and joy.

Conversely

, proponents of the opposing view argue that true

happiness

cannot be bought with

money

and stems from internal sources rather than external possessions. They contend that material

wealth

may provide temporary satisfaction but fails to address deeper emotional and psychological needs.

Happiness

, they argue, is rooted in factors

such

as meaningful relationships, personal growth, and a sense of purpose and

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

Moreover

, the relentless pursuit of

wealth

can lead to a hedonic treadmill, where individuals constantly strive for more material possessions without experiencing lasting

happiness

Instead

, they suggest that cultivating gratitude, mindfulness, and contentment can lead to a more fulfilling and sustainable sense of

happiness

. In conclusion, the debate over the role of

money

in achieving

happiness

reflects the complexity of human desires and aspirations.

While

financial

wealth

can undoubtedly contribute to

happiness

by providing security and opportunities for enjoyment, it is not the sole determinant of one's

overall

well-being. True

happiness

, it seems, lies in striking a balance between material

wealth

and internal

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

, recognizing the importance of both external and internal sources of

happiness

Submitted by Qia on Thu Apr 04 2024

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Task Achievement

For even stronger results, integrate more specific real-life examples or case studies to support your arguments. This would enrich your essay and provide a solid foundation for your views.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay demonstrates excellent coherence and cohesion. For additional improvement, consider varying your sentence structures more frequently to enhance readability and maintain the reader's interest throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have produced a well-structured essay with a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively outlining your discussion points.

Task Achievement

You've effectively addressed the task, presenting clear and comprehensive ideas on both views regarding money and happiness.

Task Achievement

Your discussion provides a balanced view on a complex topic, which showcases your ability to understand and communicate intricate issues.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

334 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving happiness. Others, however believe that money has nothing to do with happiness. Discuss both views.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be a good member of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

in some countries, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might parental roles develop in the future?

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that miney could be better spent elsewhere. To what extend do you agree with this view?

nowadays international tourism is the biggest industry in the world.unfortunately international tourism create tension rather than understanding with many people from different culture to go to extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion.