Children have too much freedom nowadays. Do you agree or disagree ? Why ?
It is
common
belief that today children have so much freedom. Add an article
a common
However
, I firmly believe that in some ways it is not a good idea, and they should not be allowed to have lots of it. I totally disagree that
and, I will elaborate on my point of view in the following paragraphs.
To start with, Change preposition
with that
kids
should be watched in their behaviors
because they are so young and they do not know the thing is right or wrong. Under parents' surveillance, Change the spelling
behaviours
kids
may not make serious mistakes. For example
, fathers or mothers should have to stand in the playground with their kids
. If kids
get injured, they can deal with it instantly. That is
very important. If children have plenty of free time
, that will be risky. Who knows what will they do in that period?
On top of that, kids
usually do not have too much homework to do in the early grades in elementary schools. As a result
, they have enough leisure time
to do anything they want. Some of them do not go to learn instruments, sports, languages, and so on. They feel so bored all the time
. Therefore
, some gangsters think this
is good for recruit
them to do illegal stuff. Change the verb form
recruiting
For instance
, when I was a primary school student, some of my classmates joined a criminal organization. They did some things bad, and several guys were caught by Correct article usage
the polices
polices
. In the end, they were living in a jail.
In a nutshell, in order to keep your Correct subject-verb agreement
police
kids
safe, it is vital to deprive some part of their freedom. Another reason is that if they have time
they do not how to use it, they may be hired by someone and they could do terrible things. Thus
, they should not have a long time
for themself.Submitted by edward300225 on
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task response
Be sure to directly answer the question in your introduction to clearly establish your position from the beginning.
task response
Try to develop your main points more thoroughly with explanation and examples. This enhances the clarity and depth of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear structure through the use of paragraphs. Starting each paragraph with a clear topic sentence can help guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
To improve cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to more clearly connect your ideas.
general
Carefully proofread your essay to correct minor inaccuracies or typographical errors.
task response
You've effectively provided specific examples to support your argument, which strengthens your essay.
coherence cohesion
The inclusion of an introduction and a conclusion helps frame your argument, effectively guiding the reader through your essay.