The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

#proportion #population #three #countries

The given line graph illustrates

Percentage

Correct article usage

the Percentage

show examples

of People aged 65 and over from

Period

Correct article usage

the Period

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

1940 and

also

Predict for 2040. Japan will be the one which will have

highest

Correct article usage

the highest

show examples

Proportion of elder People followed by Sweden and

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

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as Per

datas

Correct your spelling

data

Japan had the lowest Population

Change preposition

apply

show examples

57 in 1940 as compared with Sweden

as well as

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

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. During the period of 1960 to 1990, were that stage Where Proportion of elder

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

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reached

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

3% and

remain

Wrong verb form

remained

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Stable till 1990.

However

, after

that

Add a comma

that,

show examples

Started

Fix capitalization

started

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growing gradually and

then

escalated to 10% in 2023.

According to

chart

Correct article usage

the chart

show examples

, Japan will have

dramatically

Replace the word

a dramatic

show examples

rise in 2040 and it will sharply reach

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

28% which will be

highest

Correct article usage

the highest

show examples

arnong

Correct your spelling

among

all countries. Meanwhile,

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

show examples

and

sweden

Change the capitalization

Sweden

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were the countries which had

Percentage

Correct article usage

a Percentage

show examples

below 10% of aged 65 and over

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

. Both the nations showed

upward

Add an article

an upward

show examples

trend and

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

will have above.. 20% of

elder

Replace the word

elderly

show examples

People in 2040.

Submitted by akshayashvi07 on Thu Apr 04 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

155 words

6.50

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Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

Nowadays, many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grandparents can take care of their children, while others think childcare centers provide the best care. Discuss both views.

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

Space travel to the Moon is often cited as one giant leap for mankind. Yet some people argue that this achievement made little difference to our daily lives. What is your opinion?

Many people spend a large amount of money on celebrating birthdays and weddings. Others think that it is unnecessary to spend so much on these events. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the main problems people in cities face, and how can these problems be tackled?