People are responsible for their happiness. Others feel happiness depends on other factors in their life. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #happiness #factors #life

While

some

people

agree that

happiness

is a decision, others argue that

happiness

depends on many reasons. I strongly support the first perspective since

happiness

is considered one of the other feelings and

people

have the ability to control their feelings. On the one hand,based on much scientific research, the brain secretes some hormones responsible for feeling

happiness

. To illustrate, one of these hormones is called endorphins, which the brain secretes after exercise.

In other words

people

who have a healthy lifestyle and do regular exercise will feel happy every day. It is obvious that

people

are mainly responsible for choosing to have a good life and be happy.

On the other hand

,others believe that

happiness

is always linked to several factors in life.

For example

people

who agree that

happiness

depends on money,

such

as the common concept that travel always brings

happiness

. Both views have valid points;

however

, I firmly agree that everyone can control their feelings and opt to be happy or not, and that does not depend on any factors

such

as money or travel because it is temporary. Since many

people

might have a lot of money, they are not happy.

Therefore

,I believe that

happiness

is a choice because

people

should live a lifestyle that brings them joy.

To sum up

,we could say that everyone has the freedom to choose temporary

happiness

by linking their

happiness

with stuff or to feel happy daily.

Submitted by jumanh114 on Thu Apr 04 2024

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Content Enhancement

For a fuller exploration of the topic, include broader, more diversified examples and viewpoints that encompass different aspects of life, not just money or lifestyle.

Cohesion Enhancement

Integrate transitional phrases more fluidly to improve the flow between ideas.

Introduction & Conclusion

Strong introduction and conclusion, clearly stating your viewpoint.

Examples

Good use of examples to support your arguments.

Structure

Well-structured paragraphs, each discussing a distinct view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

237 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Self-reliance
Positive psychology
Socioeconomic status
Well-being
Mindset
Personal choices
Environmental factors
Interpersonal relationships
Emotional resilience
Quality of life
Subjective well-being
External circumstances

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People are responsible for their happiness. Others feel happiness depends on other factors in their life. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

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