Some people think that getting old is a negative thing, whereas others think it is much easier for people to live in modern society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Growing older is a natural part of our lives.
While
many people would view this
with a pessimistic attitude, others believe that getting old would make life easier in the modern setting. In the following essay, I am going to discuss both views and state my opinion about the matter.
On one hand, becoming elderly would bring many shortcomings, most notably to people’s well-being. This
is due to
the fact that, as individuals grow older, their immune system would degrade and thus
, senior citizens would become weak and frail, as well as
they are more likely to be vulnerable to diseases. Hence
they require a lot of attention and need to be treated with care. For example
, a mild shift in the weather conditions could result in severe illness among the elderly, and while
they can recover after a short while
, their health is seriously affected.
On the other hand
, senior citizens could have a happier life by receiving treatment from the young. To put this
in a simpler way, the elderly could retire to their houses or a retirement home, both would surround them with the amenities and care needed by nurses and their family members, to ensure that the old could live as comfortably as possible. Taking individuals who would reside in a retirement home as an example, they will be assisted with daily routine by an assigned nurse and their meals, along with
their health are strictly supervised so that they can stay away from sickness, while
also
maintaining a certain level of activeness.
In conclusion, while
many people believe that ageing is certainly a negative thing because of the effects it has on their health, others assume that they could live more easily owing to the care they receive from their families and specialized facilities. In my opinion, I believe while
there are certainly some limits to ageing, individuals could enjoy a much simpler lifeSubmitted by duongntt.tld on
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Task Achievement
Ensure examples used are specific and detailed to fully support your argument. This enhances the relevance and impact of your examples, making your arguments more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
To further improve coherence, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will enhance the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
In conclusion, try to clearly state your opinion and summarize the key points from both views. This strengthens the conclusion and leaves a lasting impression on the reader.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, giving a clear preview of the essay structure.
Coherence & Cohesion
Main points are well-supported by explanations, ensuring that the essay's arguments are clear and logical.
Task Achievement
The essay successfully discusses both views on the issue, providing a balanced perspective before concluding with the writer's opinion.