Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some would argue that authorities spend too much money on artists' support,
while
others believe that those funds are better spent
elsewhere
. Both points of view make sense, but I agree with the latter one because art is not the only thing to be focused on. On the one hand, art undeniably should be funded and supported by the government.
Consequently
, more and more artists would be able to get a stage and the opportunity to express themselves. New exhibitions would be organized and jobs created, leading to the establishment of extra professional relationships.
In addition
to that, involvement from the younger generation would
also
increase.
For instance
, over the
last
decade, mostly big Ukrainian cities have taken part in international events dedicated to modern art.
Nevertheless
, I think that
such
actions should have been provided in smaller towns as well, helping outlying communities to be closer to
this
kind of activity.
On the other hand
, the investments that have been put into arts could have been spent on something else, like education. In
this
sector, plenty of areas could be found where additional government attention is required.
For example
, in small villages in Ukraine, not many school subjects remain
due to
curriculum reductions enforced by authority rules.
Thus
, locals have fewer programs, which results in a decrease in the average level of children's intelligence.
However
, I do believe that spendings have to be balanced out and used precisely, focusing on providing additional study facilities and opportunities. In conclusion, the necessity of societal cultural development is hard to underestimate,
although
other directions of investments like education should not be forgotten as well.
Submitted by serginio.nick on

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structure
Introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence to immediately convey the main idea of the paragraph.
language
Consider varying your sentence structure and using a wider range of vocabulary for greater lexical resource.
content
While providing examples, make sure they directly support your main argument; this strengthens the coherence of your essay.
content
Excellent use of examples to support your points, particularly when discussing the situation in Ukrainian schools.
structure
Good job structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • culture
  • creativity
  • economic growth
  • tourism
  • social development
  • personal development
  • merit
  • financial support
  • balanced
  • transparent
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