Many young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating high school. What do you think are the reasons? What can be done to teach them this important skill?

#people #money #school #skill

Many youngsters are not able to plan for their

money

after graduation from high school. It seems some causes result in

this

issue and

also

proper actions must be taken to train them in

this

regard. In

this

essay, some reasons and solutions will be discussed. It is an undeniable fact that every person's initial teacher is his parents and the basic skills should be taught by them. If a child does not learn about spending and saving

money

skills, he will definitely face huge financial problems in his future life.

In addition

, younger generations try to copy whatever their friends do

such

as overspending

money

on unnecessary stuff. Since they just think about having fun and being popular among their friends, they do not pay attention to the essential need for

money

management

. A case in point is the students who bully their classmates by spending more

money

on their needs. It is generally acknowledged that there should be a subject in school to teach students about

money

management

Also

, Parents must inform their children about

money

's role in their lives and try to train them in its

management

through some games.

Moreover

, it seems young individuals are grown enough to know the value of

money

. They should write a detailed plan for it monthly and

finally

learn about

money

management

by experience and trial.

Consequently

, it is advisable that some appropriate actions should be taken both in schools and homes to teach youngsters

money

management

skills as was discussed, in order to prevent future problems in their lives.

Submitted by keyhan454 on Fri Apr 05 2024

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Structure

Ensure your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body (reasons and solutions), and conclusion. A slight improvement in the distinctions between these sections could enhance the essay's readability and flow.

Linking

Try to use a variety of linking words to show relationships between ideas more clearly. While your essay generally flows well, more sophisticated connectors could improve the coherence.

Examples

Give more specific examples to support your arguments. Your essay mentions general scenarios, but including real-life examples or statistics could strengthen your points.

Task Response

Your essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing reasons why young people struggle with money management and proposing solutions.

Introduction

You have a good introductory sentence that sets the stage for your discussion, showing an understanding of the essay's requirements.

Conclusion

Your conclusion succinctly summarizes the essay's main points, reinforcing your arguments effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial literacy
real-world applications
consumer culture
credit facilities
financial independence
practical financial literacy
manage finances
financial responsibility
money management
financial planning
tailored
accessible

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Many young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating high school. What do you think are the reasons? What can be done to teach them this important skill?

Fully explain your ideas

Ambition is a positive quality for people to have in society today. How important is it for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

Due to development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some feel that individuals should try to assimilate completely to the country where they live while others feel it is more important to preserve their native culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.