In some cities, there are few controls over the design and construction of new homes and office buildings, so people can build in whatever style they like. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
To start with, currently, I'm living in a
city
where the population is allowed to work on the design of their own houses, office centers
, and Change the spelling
centres
also
some public constructions because everything is going under the control of private businesses etc. I am against of system like this
, because it leads to the bad appearance of the city
, and makes everything disgusting to look at.
Private businesses have full control of my city
, government gave those people
an opportunity to ruin the facade of magnificent, ancient buildings, that have a long history
, and located in my hometown for more than a hundred years. In addition
to this
, not only don't I like this
, but also
that people
are trying to ruin everything for the "improvement" of the city
, they are supporting the view that making everything look more modern always makes people
want to go there, but I would say that there is a big part of world's population who are fans of history
that are deep into this
topic, and they want to discover more and more cultures, countries, and cities with their incredible architecture. My hometown has its own expensive history
, and the government could make more changes to develop the cultural segment of the city
instead
of giving everything to those huge businesses that are destroying everything that tourists like.
To sum up
, I want those people
who have control of the population and those beautiful facades of ancient cities to look at their actions more and rethink what they are doing because my whole heart and soul crave those buildings to be in their places, I see no advantages on rebuilding something that could give the gradual rise on tourists visits, that is
saving our history
and making city
looks more picturesque.Submitted by wegeeetz on
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Introduction
Try to introduce your topic in a clear and general way before expressing your personal stance. This helps to set the context for your readers.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This enhances coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
Ensure your essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, even if your opinion leans strongly towards one side. This ensures a well-rounded discussion.
Supporting Examples
Incorporate specific examples to support your points. This strengthens your argument and makes your writing more persuasive.
Point of View
You've expressed a clear point of view and maintained it throughout the essay, which is commendable.
Passion and Persuasiveness
Your passion for the topic is evident, adding a persuasive element to your writing.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
