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Band 6

In some countries, online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#countries #stores #development
Recently,many
people
 in several countries have preferred online shopping over shopping in
stores
. It is obvious that the presence of technology facilitates daily tasks, including online shopping. I firmly believe that online shopping is a clear
example
 of a beneficial development.
This
 essay will demonstrate the positive aspects of shopping online
instead
 of in
stores
.
Firstly
, online shopping is considered a time-saving option for many
people
, especially workers. To illustrate,
instead
 of going shopping in
stores
 after work and waiting in long lines for hours, they can shop online and obtain all their needs via click in a few minutes with faster delivery.
For
example
, stuff from the supermarket and pharmacy,
in addition
 to ordering foods during break hours,
such
 as lunch
,.
Change the punctuation
,
.
show examples
Secondly
, easy access to the websites or applications of many local and international brands since they are available on different electronic devices
such
 as mobile phones, iPads,and laptops;
therefore
,
people
 can shop in worldwide countries in an easy way from their homes or offices.
For
example
, OUNASS is a luxury shopping application that contains many international brands and provides fast delivery of shipments within two days to one week, a maximum.
Additionally
,some brands provide exclusive discounts for users shopping online.
For
example
, Zara, a popular clothing brand, provides a ten
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 discount for first-time online purchases.
Moreover
, customers can follow their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 brand and be updated by receiving emails containing pictures of new collections and dates of seasonal offers.
To sum up
,many
people
 enjoy online shopping and describe it as an interesting experience, and it has advantages over shopping in
stores
,
such
 as saving time and effort
in addition
 to providing customers with special offers.
Submitted by jumanh114 on

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accuracy
Remember to proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and typos, as they can distract from your ideas.
task response
Try to balance both sides of the argument, even when clearly favoring one, to fully address the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Vary your sentence structures to demonstrate a range of grammatical forms and to keep the reader engaged.
task response
Consider elaborating on potential drawbacks of online shopping as well, to present a more nuanced argument.
task achievement
Effective use of supporting examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Clear, logical structure that guides the reader through your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Effective introduction and conclusion that frame your essay's argument.
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